How to get a baby to sleep is all about the grownups. A baby's sleep cycle is less than an hour, so understanding how to get a baby to sleep is really about adjusting expectations of what newborn sleep looks like, there are no quick fixes.
Babies don't come with an easy set-up manual, but luckily we have the information here to help you find your way. All babies are different; what works for one baby might not work for another. From shopping for the best baby monitor to searching for the best podcasts to listen to and sleep training books to read, the best swaddles to use. You've likely tried all kinds of tricks and tips to get your baby to drop off. And, all of this is okay. Sleep isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach, after all. Founder of the sleep consulting team Calm and Bright Sleep Support and mother of four, Eve Spires tells us "The most important thing to remember is your baby, your choice."
With that in mind, we've found the research and expert intel to empower you in making your own decisions in helping your baby fall asleep.
How to get a baby to sleep: by ages
From 0-3 months old
- Swaddle newborns
- Keep lighting low when feeding or changing
- Naps and feeds on demand
A study by Liverpool John Moores University showed that there is no newborn sleep schedule as they don’t know the difference between night and day, and will often easily sleep for long periods during the day, with little or no support needed. While this is great when you're meeting a friend for coffee, the flip side is that it feels like they're awake for hours at night. New babies often wake because they need a feed, as they only have little tummies.
However, if this isn't happening for you, and instead you're struggling to get them to sleep on their first couple of nights, then they could be experiencing a completely normal newborn baby condition called Second Night Syndrome. It affects some babies more than others and is characterised by complete sleep for the first 24 hours of life, and then crying and excessive feeding, amongst other symptoms, from then on. When your new baby does wake for a feed, keep everything quiet, low and with minimal movement. Try to think about how you act when you're woken in the night. When you need the loo you try to keep your eyes as closed as possible and avoid turning the light on. This is exactly what you need for your baby. Feed them and change them as quietly and gently as possible to try to keep them in that slightly sleepy state.
Mum of two Louise tells us: "With our firstborn the Lumie sunrise alarm clock was a godsend! It kept the room dim but light enough to get things done. For simple feeds and burping we set it to a dim light 3 setting, while for code brown situations it was a brighter light 8! But still less intense than turning the light on."
In addition, swaddling may help with getting newborn babies to sleep. Chireal Shallow, author of The Gentle Sleep Solution (Amazon, £12.65)says: “To help your baby feel secure, recreate the conditions of the womb. Swaddle them, just like they were snug inside you, and make sure their Moses basket is cosy and safe. If they’re warm and sleepy in your arms, being moved to a cool mattress can be a shock.
“To settle them, put a hand on their chest, lean down and put your cheek next to them, then make a ‘shh, shh’ sound. When they stop crying, stop all of these. They’ll learn you’re there for them when they’re upset, but that they can go to sleep on their own when they’re calm.”
In the early weeks, napping and feeding often happen on demand and no two days are the same. Eve Spires, one half of the sleep consulting team Calm and Bright Sleep Support and mother-of-four tells us, “And sleep can range from 20 minutes to 3 hours. Remember that 'contact' or 'motion' napping, such as on your chest in the sling, baby carrier, or in that pram you invested in, is entirely normal and often necessary (hello, school run!). And, at this age, night sleep can be anything from 45 minutes to 3-hour stints."
Chireal Shallow is a HCPC registered Psychologist and BABCP accredited Psychotherapist currently working for with over 20 years experience of working within both NHS and private settings.
lm & Bright lovingly enables solid sleep in babies and young children. Plans from pregnancy to 4 years.
From 3-5 months old
- Keep their room dark
- Keep lighting low when feeding or changing
- Track their day naps
- Understand baby's circadian rhythm
- Feel empowered to give your baby a minute to soothe themselves if they've woken
By 3 months old some babies can sleep up to 5 hours at night and by 5 months it could be as much as 8 hours. However, it is unusual for babies to sleep all night every night and it is normal for babies to wake frequently in the night, just like we as adults do. You may notice that at some stage your baby will wake at 5am to start their day. It's at this time, and in the first few months of a baby’s life, think about their sleep space. Both for their comfort; to lull into a peaceful sleep and their safety. Whether you are co-sleeping or prefer a next-to-me cot, The Lullaby Trust is a great go-to for guidance on safe sleeping.
You might want to try keeping your baby's room dark. When it gets dark our brains release a hormone called melatonin, which makes us feel drowsy. Also, try to remember that your baby’s sleep is governed by the sleep cycle (circadian rhythm) which kicks in at 8 weeks and matures by 6 months. A baby's sleep cycle lasts for 45-60 minutes, at the end of which your baby will either start another sleep cycle or wake up.
The reason for waking up could be hunger, or they're uncomfortable or maybe they've just had a wee and need a bit of time to drift back off. If they're not crying give them the chance to fall back to sleep.
“Sleep needs are changing rapidly at this age. It may still feel a bit erratic with timings but longer stints of sleep can begin to form,” reassures Eve. “It’s good to know that naps can be 20 minutes to 3 hours long with night sleep ranging from 2-6 hour stints.”
And, while naps are imperative for a child’s growth, development, overall health, they also support better nighttime sleep, Dr Harvey Karp tells us. "When your little ones skip a nap, they’re primed to be overtired at bedtime, which triggers a fight-or-flight response that unleashes the cortisol, a hormone that keeps babies alert... which is not ideal for sleep."
Dr Harvey's top tip is to keep naps to 2.5 hours tops. "I know it sounds totally counterintuitive, I mean they say, 'Never wake a sleeping baby', but babies only sleep a certain amount in 24 hours and if they sleep too much during the day it really affects their nighttime sleep." This means you should wake your little one if they’re still snoozing at the two-hour mark, Dr Harvey assures us that this will help maintain longer stretches of sleep at night.
Dr. Harvey Karp is one of America's most-trusted paediatricians and child development experts. He is also author and founder of Happiest Baby. Dr. Karp practiced pediatrics in Los Angeles for over 25 years. His work empowers parents and supports their understanding of the needs of young children.
From 6-18 months old
- Keep room dark
- Keep lighting low when feeding or changing
- Track their day naps
- Know your baby's sleep cues
- Maybe introduce sleep training method
By now your baby's tummy is big enough to enable them to sleep for around 11 hours at night without waking to feed. Your baby's old enough now for you to be able to introduce sleep training should you want to, to get them into better habits. The aim is to teach them how to get back to sleep on their own.
Eve tells us how sleep can even out and become more predictable at this age; “naps can be 45 minutes to 3 hours long and nights can be solid with 11-12 hours unbroken.”
This age group is hitting lots of developmental milestones, from sitting up and crawling to learning to walk. Though Eve still assures us that there is no need for sleep to be broken beyond this point for any length of time; “You can get 11-12 hours sleep and naps from 1 to 3 hours.”
From 6 months old you can try sleep training if that's something you'd like to do. Sleep training may help you and your baby get into better sleep habits. The aim is to teach babies how to get back to sleep on their own. And to teach you, the adult, that babies can do more than we give them credit for.
Some methods include the E.A.S.Y. Method (A three hour routine that starts with babies being fed until they are full (Eat), play (Activity) and then nap (Sleep) with time for yourself following (You).) and controlled crying (leaving them for gradually increased periods of time before going in to reassure them). In addition, it helps to know your baby's sleep cues.
How much can a baby sleep?
Up to 17 hours a day depending on their age. The National Library of Medicine shows that these are usual sleep needs (including naps and nighttime sleep) per 24 hours:
- Newborns to first few months: 16 to 17 hours
- Four to One year: 12 to 16 hours
- One to two years: 11 to 14 hours
While newborns sleep much of the time, it tends to be in very short stints. As your baby grows the total amount of sleep slowly decreases, but the length of nighttime sleep increases.
If you want to check that your baby is hitting the suggested amount of sleep at night, you might try tracking day naps. The saying; 'Sleep begets sleep' is a saying for a reason. The more sleep a baby has the more likely they are to sleep better. An overtired baby struggles to settle and to say in a sleep cycle.
Babies don’t tend to have regular sleep cycles until they are about 6 months old. They typically sleep a total of about eight to nine hours in the daytime and a total of about eight hours at night. But because they have small stomachs, they tend to wake when they're hungry eat. In most cases, a baby will wake up to eat at least every three hours.
How often a baby eats depends on what they are being fed and their age. If you're tempted to wake your baby for a feed, talk to your Health Visitor or GP for guidance.
How babies sleep may look different depending on their age. Some babies won’t start sleeping through the night (meaning six to eight hours) until at least 3 months of age. Others won’t sleep through the night until closer to 1 year. All babies are different. According to a study published in the journal Pediatrics, if your baby doesn’t sleep through the night at 6 months, or even at 12 months, it’s perfectly normal.
It's also worth remembering that when it comes to how well a baby can sleep, there are 'no shoulds', according to Eve. She tells us. “Rather than thinking what their babies ‘should’ be doing, parents might like to know what their babies are capable of doing so that they can make an informed decision about whether they want/need to enable that best sleep.”
The good news is, studies at the Finnish Institute for Health and Welfare show that a child's sleep can become noticeably more stable within the first two years of life.
Sleep cues: recognise the signs
Overtired babies are really hard to settle. Spotting the signs before your baby reaches overtired status is half the battle.
Sleep cues may look like;
- Staring into space
- Going still
- Rubbing their eyes
- Pulling at their ears
- Frowning
- Less engaged
- Less responsive
- Dropping eyes
Like adults, all babies are different; get to know yours. Recognise their signs of tiredness. Sleep cues can be super subtle and can also vary from baby to baby. Your firstborn may have shown completely different signs to your second or third born.
But you will begin to recognise your own baby’s cues over time. And, it's worth noting that these cues will also change as they grow. Remember, yawning, becoming irritable and starting to cry are late signs and can lead to your baby becoming overtired.
Tips to help get a baby to sleep
1. Get your baby used to day and night
Babies aren't born understanding night and day, according to a research from Liverpool John Moores University. Get your baby familiar with the change, it can help with their circadian rhythm. In addition, other studies from American Academy of Sleep Medicine show that the circadian rhythm develops at 8 weeks old - and works with the body to help drift off to sleep. Eve shares a few other ways to get your baby used to day and night;
- Exposure to daylight and fresh air
- Day sleep no longer than 3 hours at a time
- Naps in daylight
- Limit exposure to light at night, especially blue light (such as screens or mobile phones)
- Only change nappy when needed - i.e. baby is crying - overnight (most modern-day nappies can last 12 hours
Eve adds; "Getting a baby to sleep is ultimately about reassurance, consistency, and comfort to help your baby learn."
So, when you're dealing with them during nighttime, keep lights dim and talk to a minimum. Research from the Family Institute at Northwestern University shows that keeping the light low level helps promote positive sleep behaviour. Especially when changing their nappy; it isn't daytime, it isn't a fun time, it's sleep time so model that. Don't 'lose the tired'.
During the day maybe open the curtains, dress them and play games. Similarly at night, try dimming the lights, drawing the curtains, getting them into PJs (even if this means just switching them out from one onesie to another, it’s more about the act for baby).
2. Trust your baby to work it out
Looking after a baby can be so overwhelming and Googling everything seems the most sensible thing to do.
But resist that urge to search 'how to get a baby to sleep' each night. Information overload can throw you off, and leave you trying everything possible rather than trusting your instinct and being consistent. A parent's instinct is to be listened to, according to studies. You know your baby.
Also, give your baby a chance to show you what they're capable of. If baby is awake and just happy in their cot, leave them to it. They may find their own way to drop off to sleep.
When a baby cries it's human instinct to go to it straight away. But, if you rush immediately you take away baby's chance to sort it themselves - it might just be they had a wee and it woke them, give them time and they may drift straight back off.
Rushing in could create a cycle where they need you to fall back to sleep. As long as you know they're not hungry or ill, you can pause and allow a minute before going into them. If you do need to go in, follow your instincts and try to be as quiet, calm, and unobtrusive as possible. For instance, maybe think about keeping lights low/off, no talking etc.
Try to empower your baby. They are capable of more than we think. We just need to enable them, set strong sleep routines. A study by the Sleep Research Society claims that routines are a great way to help teach your baby to sleep. It gives them something they know to expect. Also, try to keep consistent and calm.
With all this in mind, we got the low down on baby sleep from Eve; “Trust your baby to work it out. When a baby is given the opportunity to fall peacefully asleep by themselves, they are able to sleep longer and wake refreshed.”
“At the beginning, it’s really normal for babies to need help with sleep. Beyond 6 months, however, the way a baby gets to sleep (feeding, rocking, patting, co-sleeping) can become ingrained. This means that both parent and baby believe that there is no other way to get to sleep."
For instance, if you feed your baby to sleep - and there's nothing wrong with - but you then decide to stop, it can be difficult. As your baby now associates a feed with sleep, and you think your baby can't sleep without a feed, it becomes a never-ending circle."
Author of The Sleep Whisperer, Tracy Hogg calls this 'accidental parenting'. And it's usually the culprit for sleep issues with a baby. We have spoken to many sleep consultants and they all say the same; ‘we work with the parents not the baby’.
And Eve agrees; “The very first port of call for any sleep problems night or day is to consider whether you might like to enable self-settle in your baby. Once that is enabled, everything falls into place.”
The mum-of-four goes on to reassure all parents reading this; “If sleep is working for you and your baby, and you’re feeling rested and healthy, - no matter ‘the method’ then don’t change a thing. Don’t let anyone tell you you should or shouldn’t sleep teach. Your baby, your choice.”
3. Swaddling might help settle your newborn
A 2017 review of studies shows that swaddling helps babies sleep. Swaddling is when you wrap a baby in a blanket to make them feel secure, like when they were in the womb. Here’s how to swaddle a newborn:
1. Fold one corner down on a thin cotton cot sheet. Lie your baby on their back, in the middle of the sheet and with their head resting above the fold 2. Take the left corner and wrap it over your baby’s body then tuck it under their right arm 3. Fold the tail upwards then wrap the right corner over their body and around their back, making sure their head is uncovered and your baby has enough space to wriggle their hips and knees 4. Avoid using extra or thick blankets to stop your baby overheating 5. It's not safe to swaddle babies over 1 month old.
4. Check baby's room temperature
To enable your baby's best sleep, make sure they aren't too cold or hot. Invest in a room thermometer to check that their room is between 16°C and 20°C.
Studies from The Lullaby Trust recommend that babies sleep in a baby sleeping bag. Here are the guidelines Gro Company supply on what the baby should wear with which tog, in which room temperature.
- Under 16°C: Put them in a 2.5 tog sleeping bag and long-sleeved vest, plus long-sleeved sleepsuit
- 16°C-19°C: Put them in a 2-2.5 tog sleeping bag and long-sleeved sleepsuit or long-sleeved vest
- 20°C-24°C: Put them in a 1-1.5 tog sleeping bag and long-sleeved vest or short-sleeved vest
- 25°C plus: Put them in a 0.5 tog sleeping bag and vest or vest alone
Feeling their tummy is the best way to tell how hot or cold your baby is and don't worry if their feet and hands are cold as it doesn't necessarily mean they feel cold.
5. Check baby isn't hungry
Like adults, when babies are in a light sleep a hunger pang can wake them. Making sure your baby goes to bed with a full tummy may help with the longer stints of shut-eye. Though, for full transparency, a study by Swansea University shows that even a full tummy won't stop night waking altogether. It just means you know baby isn't waking for food.
Breastfeeding? It's suggested that newborns are are fed every hour or two in the first couple of weeks. If bottle-feeding, it's suggested that it's every two to three hours. Other studies from 2012 claim that breastfed babies don't tend to wake as often, though reasons for this could be the additional skin on skin comfort during breastfeeding.
When your baby weighs around 10lbs they might sleep for longer and go for four to five hours between feeds. From 14lbs they could even go five to six hours without needing milk. Getting your baby to sleep through the night really depends on your baby’s weight and how quickly they digest their milk, so listen to your baby and don’t be in a hurry to get them sleeping through the night and worry about how to get a baby to sleep.
It’s good to know that your little one may also feed more often and for longer during a growth spurt, however, if their constant waking up for milk doesn’t seem normal, it might be worth checking your milk supply with your health visi